In Over My Head

I'm off school for exams. I'm not too stressed about them, I'm pretty sure Social (my last diploma = tomorrow) will be piece of cake/piece of pie. I'm not really in the mood too study. Thank God that Erin and Andrea drug me out to starbucks today for a study session. Hopefully I wont have to know too much abou mr. Mao Zedong, because quite frankly... I have no clue about what he did or when he ruled China. You know those moods where all you want to do is turn the lights down low, turn off your cell phone, put on some amazing mellow tunes and chill? Well.. tonight is one of those nights.

I never knew

I never knew that everything was falling through

That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue

To turn and run when all I needed was the truth

But that's how it's got to be

It's coming down to nothing more than apathy

I'd rather run the other way than stay and see

The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

Everyone knows I'm in Over my head

Over my head

With eight seconds left in overtime

She's on your mind

She's on your mind

Let's rearrange

I wish you were a stranger I could disengage

Just say that we agree and then never change

Soften a bit until we all just get along

But that's disregard

Find another friend and you discard

As you lose the argument in a cable car

Hanging above as the canyon comes between

Everyone knows

I'm in Over my head

Over my head

With eight seconds left in overtime

She's on your mind

She's on your mind

Everyone knows I'm in Over my head

Over my head With eight seconds left in overtime

She's on your mind

She's on your mind

And suddenly I become a part of your past

I'm becoming the part that don't last

I'm losing you and its effortless

Without a sound we lose sight of the ground

In the throw around

Never thought that you wanted to bring it down

I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

And everyone knows I'm in Over my head

Over my head

With eight seconds left in overtime

She's on your mind

She's on your mind

Everyone knows She's on your mind

Everyone knows I'm in over my head

I'm in over my head I'm in over...

Everyone knows I'm in Over my head

Over my head

With eight seconds left in overtime

She's on your mind

She's on your mind

I'm missing a lot of things from my past and feeling kind of emo. I guess its just one of those days. But thats okay - music always tends to lift me up. I picked up my guitar for the first time in a lonng, longg time today. My fingers arent too pleased but I guess I'd better get used to it - Guitar first period all next semester. I'm pretty pumped. Speaking of pumped; I'm going to the switchfoot concert in february. It should be pretty sweet. I haven't been to a concert since the Goo Goo Dolls, which was incredible.
So, ten days ago (today) my best friend packed up all his belongings and moved to Sydney, Australia and I miss him like mad. I'm so proud of him, I can't believe he actually did it. It's always been talked about but for people to take action in their words is hardly heard of. He says its beautiful and and I'm envious. A year is a long time when you're waiting for something, especially if you don't even know if its attainable or realistic. I've been thinking about post-secondary and if I'll get accepted to either of the institutions I want to go too and I get knots in my stomach just thinking about it. It seems so far away, but its really not. I haven't even gotten my passport yet. Or applied to college. Or finished Highschool. There just seems like theres so much to do before my life can even start. I just hope that everything works itself out quickly. I'm dreading going back and starting my last semester of school because then its over and I actually have to do something, but even more so because I have to go back and I can't just do somehting now. I'm also dreading going back to work. Never have I felt so stressed about something that should be enjoyable, but the possibility of getting fired actually totally freaks me out. Especially from my part time job that no one should honestly get fired from. I don't think it will happen, but just the prospect of that embarassment sucks. I'm pretty sure its time for me to find a new job but its difficult because I havent got the means of transport for getting to and from jobs that I could enjoy and not stress about.

March 18th, baby. I'm pretty pumped. I can't wait until i get my license. Thats so much freedom, I don't know if I'll know what to do with myself.

I'm going to youth tonight with Lori. It should be a great time. Steph is singing - i'm rreally looking forward to it. I'll write when I have something else to get off my chest.

Long Time Gone

Today was the second day of school after Christmas break, which I might add, rocked. I'm starting to stress about school&finals&post-secondary really bad. So bad, in fact, I went down to Student Services and set up a meeting with a councellor. Supposedly she's taught in Australia - Sydney, here i come - and can help me out. I'm still not sure about what I want to do. I think it would be amazing to be a Youth Pastor and take my courses at Hillsongs bible college, but for some reason I feel like its the easy way out. I know I would enjoy it, but I doesn't seem like something you can do for a living. I just have build my faith, I guess.
Anyways, If I'm thinking about applying to both Hillsongs and to the University of Sydney. Both schools are beautiful and offer great courses. Choosing the course I would pursue at the U of S is harder though, because there are so many options... and it seem so final. I would love to go into something from a social worker to a parole officer to a vet tech. There are just too many options, and unfortunately, because I am incredibly lazy, I don't have the marks I should have. This kind of freaks me out. I need chemistry and math for almost everything, and those two subjects, plus physics, are my weakest point in acedemics. Wouldn't it be nice if I could just win the lottery? I think so. I guess its just that everything feel so sureal. I'm only 17, and I have to decide what I am going to do for the rest of my life, and to get into Australia I need a passport, acceptance, student visas, work visas, a cash flow, a plane ticket... I don't know how Cory did it. I'm so excited for him - I can't believe he's leaving on MONDAY. God's going to do great things for him, thats for sure
Well, enough about school and more about good times. From the December 27th - January 6/7th I was in Yellowknife visiting Cory. I was surprised at how nice it actually is up there. It's beautiful country. [I'll put some pictures up as soon as I can find the cable to connect my camera to the computer.] If i wanted to live in a small and secluded city up north, Yellowknife would be it. The landscape is amazing. I haven't enjoyed myself as much as I enjoyed myselp up there fore a long time now. I got to go to church for the first time in a long time and I can't wait to get back into everything. Life is going to start to change and I'm going to initate it. I can't wait.